Impact of the mothering role on a woman’s identity
Many people believe that a good mother is the one who has good children. This is a misguided conception. The truth is that a good mother can have any kind of children regardless of the kids’ behaviors or characteristics whether well mannered, poorly behaved, mentally retarded, bright or dull in academics among any other related characteristics (Morrison 87). Many factors such as their genes, experiences in life, their culture, the community they live in, the schools they go to, their parents’ advice and upbringing among others affect a child’s behavior or character. However, parents, more so mothers, are largely responsible for the behavior of their own children (Reith 14). A parent can educate the kids, provide good models for them to emulate, but whether the child will successfully emulate or follow these parental lessons, is irrelevant in defining who a good parent is. However, a mother is extensively defined by how she models her children and what they become in the future.
A good mother expresses love and affection towards the child. This is shown by little encouragements, cuddling the kids, telling the child how much you love him/her and loving them unconditionally. That is not achieved by trying to change them to be who she thinks they should be. Another good mothering tip is to always be praising young children and do not compare them with others; not even their own brothers or sisters (Loudon 31). Teaching a child that it is normal to be different and unique, and not follow what others do is also a very good mothering technique. As a mother, it is always essential to take into account that a child is an individual hence do not try to make them live as one lived.
The role of a mother is perceived as the most important there is in the world (Reith 08). Sometimes mothers are even respected or identified with how they bring up their children. A mothering role can also be used as a characteristic by some corporations on deciding whether a mother has god leadership skills for promotion at work or not (Metzger 36). Therefore, the mothering role dictates a lot on a woman’s identity not only at her home, but also in her career. A child’s performance in class is also extensively associated by how he/she its treated at home, and the first person teachers points fingers to is the mother. As from the early 1990s, the society and more so the media, has not been forgiving on mothers who have sought means of survival (employment) at the expense of their children’s welfare (Susan & Meredith 22-3). This is more so those who work in the corporate world as well as female rights activists who have been calling for better pay, better partner relationships, better careers for women and also for better childcare options as well as government support (Susan & Meredith 25). However, the society does not comprehend that these are situations are brought about by the high cost of living that kept rising in the 1990s and continues to do so even to date.
According to Susan and Meredith, all the media shows the society is how busy mothers have become trying to make it in the corporate world, but it would not address the reasons why such mothers are not at home mothering their young children (Susan & Meredith 18). Susan and Meredith feels that the media fails to understand that even programs such as the Welfare programs that had been introduced by President Nixon to address poverty matters are no longer effective in the United States of America. On top of that, while the media continues to portray mothers as corporate world oriented other than taking care of their kids, Susan and Meredith points out that it is still the politicians who ask single mothers to take up jobs, instead of the government taking care of the issue.
However, in as much as Susan and Meredith feel that the society fails to understand the roots and the reasons for the “new momism”, mothers ought to know that there will never come a time the society will never use reason in understanding this uproar. The society will always be judgmental if a mother does not spend time with her children and teach them how to survive in the society, and also offer her children that maternal love (Metzger 21). For instance, school work is one of the most important levels of any child’s development. A mother should be able to be there for her children after school. Maybe even assist them in their homework and also show them there is more to do after school other than just watching Television. It is extremely disturbing when a young kid learns what to do from the Television because that is the only source to learn from since their mothers are busing making a life for themselves.
A good parent should always listen to their children and show interest in their activities (Morrison 76). This makes it easier for young children to seek support from their mothers’ when faced by a challenge. A mother taking some time off her busy schedule to spend it with her kids is essential in their mental, physical and even emotional health. This can be done by attending school functions, going to the park with the kid among others.
A mother eliminating bad behavior in herself and also in other family members whenever they are close to the kids is also an essential mothering technique that helps a child to identify god behavior with her (Loudon 102). This includes quitting drinking, smoking, gambling, and drug abuse among others. A mother should also be ready to practice what she preaches hence when she tell her kids not to do drugs, it is essential to make sure herself and every other family member close to the kid does not do the same.
A good mother should also show interest in a childlife even when they are in school. Research has shown that there is improved achievement in one’s child if there was good parent-children and teacher relation (Reith 83). These reports show that that parent involvement in schools results in significant improved student achievement. Parents who show great concern are in turn surprised with greater achievements on the part of children. The more a parent gets involved with the school curriculum, teacher and school administration, then the better the parent tend to feel about the school. Parents in turn have increased sense of belonging and pride in the school and community at large. As parents learn the way a school functions, the more they get to understand the education process and decisions parents and the school become friends and are in turn become mutual beneficiaries when dealing with challenging students and situations (Reith 52). Parents also become supportive of the school with financial constrains as well as other leeway levies.
Therefore, as a parent becomes involved and gets to learns about the school, it helps the child work better even in class work for he/she works extra hard to make the parent happy. Parents increase the comprehension of their child’s development in the areas of emotional, social, physical and cognitive development (Metzger 130). A bond between the educational program and the home experiences is necessary. Mothers who understand how their children develop are able to provide better home environment. Mothers should learn more and even attend parent classes in schools where there is that provision. To produce positive spiral in success of student, parent and school relation in order to have great achievements
In conclusion, good motherhood is a great responsibility and requires total focus and determination from parents in order for them to be ‘good parents’. As a parent always know that there is no one universally accepted way or method of raising kids as all children are different hence parents should not follow behavioral stereotypes of culture or ethnic clans. Parenting is not hard, but it requires a mother or a father to maintain good friendship with the young ones so that they can also understand who is their role models and not their equals.
Loudon, . Maternal Love. London, 1849. Print.
Metzger, C. D. The good parenting guide : parenting, nurturing, and basic care for children. Chicago: Mac Pub, 2006. Print.
Morrison, Toni. Beloved: A Novel. New York: Knopf, 1987. Print.
Reith, Judy. Motherhood. London: Teach Yourself, 2008. Print.
Susan, Douglas & Meredith, W. Michaels. The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined Women. New York: Free Press, 2004. Print.